Where nobody knows your name...

[hippybngstockng]

I'm an open person, like crazy open, like so open it's sometimes too much information for people. Sometimes this leads to me leaving large chunks of valuable information just out, simply because I have a tendency to assume that some people are just born knowing everything about me. Since I just barely moved here, that's a pretty stupid assumption! :) Still, I get hung up on what's TMI, and what's actually really boring.

That made me think it was time for a good question meme-

Ask me whatever you want to know, be it silly, stupid, personal, really personal, or even vaguely uncomfortable. I will honestly answer, or be up front that I'm not comfortable answering that, at least in a public post... I will try to put an answer to all questions. I've set the comments to screened, in case people want some privacy. Also, it's to be noted that I always have anonymous posting set to ON and IP logging set to OFF, so you can also feel free to keep your identity a secret, and take this as a one time pass to not feel like "the spineless jerk off in the corner" like my journal will label you.. This time it will not apply, since I said so. Nyah.

Comments

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

New icon!

What's your favorite flower, if you have a reason, why?

[hippybngstockng.livejournal.com]

It IS in fact the Dahlia (the icon is a little fuzzy, I know). I love their kinda mathematically precise quality, and the wide variety of colour and sizes and styles. I am particular to most of the purple shades, but I love them all pretty much. I aspire to being able to keep some without killing 'em, but so far not so good.. Someday though, if I can cut off my black thumb.. ;)

I also named my first cat Dahlia because of her big round fluffy head, and the fact that I just think dahlias are that cool..

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

If you would have known about K's autism very early on in your pregnancy, would you have still kept him?

Sorry if that cuts too deep. I am just really curious.

[hippybngstockng.livejournal.com]

It's a fair question, and one that's getting debated heavily in a few places these days, so I don't mind trying to address it.

Yes, I would. I think it's pretty clear that I sometimes question whether I would have a kid in general if I had known more about myself and how I would be at being a parent in general as opposed to just spending time with children, but his autism has nothing to do with that. I know that all those things I mostly want to complain about, the endlessness of it all, the overwhelming responsibilities, the perpetual lack of money, those things would all still be there if he wasn't autistic. I wish I had known early on what a dork I am. ;)

As for the issue itself- Well, I think anyone who questions whether they are up to the task of parenting should probably still have those tests if they find themselves pregnant. I'm not the kind of person who likes to tell people what to do or believe, so what they did with that information would be up to them, but I can say I would have liked to have know straight out of the box, instead of a couple years later after I'd already built up a solid internal pocket of guilt about the whole thing. In my heart though, I would hope that a test to prove autism would be impossible if it's people's intention to end pregnancies because of it. I know that sounds a little weird and pro-life of me, but considering what a wide variety of person can come out of the spectrum, I wouldn't want to think that someone would feel like my son would make a good target for termination because of his differences. It's not really like a disorder to me, though it does make things difficult at times, I still view it more as a difference. We do everything everyone else does, we just do it differently.

And the reality also is that something like 1 in every 166 children born these days is autistic. Someone quoted that in FARK recently, and it prompted the funniest comment I've ever seen, paraphrased from Futurama, something I've decided I would love to see on a T-shirt- "I, for one, welcome our Autistic Overlords." Tee hee.. You should. They're probably smarter than most everyone in there right now, for sure, who cares if they won't meet your eye!!! :P

And as for you, missie, I know why you are curious.... I want you to think, think long and hard, and then think again... After you're done thinking, I want you to drink a lot of something sassy, and then think a tiny bit more (not much, don't over-think while drinking), sober up, think while you're hung over, and then later when you've had a nap, think again.. Then run right out and babysit for the person you know with the most absolutely annoying children on the planet you can think of. Seriously. Do it for an entire day. If you can do it for a solid weekend, do that. Borrow as many children from as many people as you can, and try to get through an entire day of shopping, taking them along. Feed them sugar before you go, and also during. And caffeine. If you can't find really annoying children, my husband suggests you try for hours to stare at a picture of a cute puppy while someone blows an air horn near your head at random every few moments, for the entire time. If you still want to have children, then you have my blessing.. :) I know that sounds a little harsh, but I think it's a good test. I'm going to comment on your other comment though with some serious stuff instead of jokes..

Your answer...

[lightning-rider.livejournal.com]

first thanks for sharing. While I didn't ask the question, I do think it was an interesting one... and one I prolly wouldn't have asked unless I knew you ALOT better.( Kel has made it sound that you're "good people").

If you haven't seen it, I'd recommend Gattaca. I have a legally blind friend who loves it. A mutual friend feels that's because of... well in the "future" they are able to test genes n' stuff. Our hero was a "love child" and thus not the BEST possible HIM he could be. As such he is denied his dream job of astronaut... because after he's born, they map him as living about only 30 years due to a heart problem.
It stars Ethan Hawke and Uma- so good eyecandy actors.

It's obvious that you love your son... 'warts' and all.

I find an odd irony reading this... as my brother's gal pal is preggers as is my sis.... And while on vaca with both of them, it was clear that my sister was taking her pregnecy more serious as gal pal allowed my bro to light up in the car while he was driving and drank... not a six pack but more then sis, which makes me wonder about what Matilda is gonna be like( that's the baby's working title)

I'm going to ask you to recommend a book FOR ME that you love... goodness knows I have a big old pile of books to read- and oddly enough even though I was just on vaca my pile got BIGGER and not SMALLER... however I'd love to hear what you feel is a good book. Not asking for your ALL TIME FAVORITE BOOK- as I know that's hard, just one you like and enjoy sharing with others.

Re: Your answer...

[hippybngstockng.livejournal.com]

I have seen Gattaca, as it was a new release at one point when we had cable way back when. I ended up seeing it quite a bit. It is indeed a very good film. I was impressed by the depth of the message.

A book? Well, that's a tough one. I don't read as much as it would seem, and most of what I've read is fairly classic stuff, often science fiction for courses I took, so likely stuff you've read. Going to go out on a limb here though, and guess that maybe you haven't managed to slog through "Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand" By Samuel R. Delaney yet. It has to be one of the books that has stuck with me the most, especially after the second reading when I was taking a course on sexuality in science fiction. It's very dense at times, and might confuse a bit, but I feel it's really well worth it on a number of levels. If there was a book that actually made me change the way I looked at some things, it'd be that one. Some folks really whine about his style, but I rather like it, though I admit it takes some getting used to. Try to be patient with it, it's worth it.

And yeah, for even more irony-- My mom smoked through my entire gestation, likely at least a pack or so a day, and likely drank a bit too. It was 1970 of course, just days before the surgeon general forced them to start finally putting the warnings on the packages saying that YES, smoking cigarettes is BAD for you and your baby.. Who knows if they warned her about alcohol or not, but at least she wasn't much of a drinker anyway. Not saying it was a good thing, since I get sick a lot, and have my various issues *ahems*, but hey.. It's all a big crap shoot anyway. As long as gal pal is not slammin back the 40 ouncers, it's probably okay.

And I clearly have to work harder to make Kel understand what dangerous company he keeps... *snickers with evil winking* Seriously though, I am always open to questions, even the ones that sound kinda harsh or cold or dumb. I'd much rather get asked something uncomfortable than have someone actually FEEL uncomfortable with me because of not knowing. ;)