the subconscious conspiracy...

[hippybngstockng]

My brain has always had bad manners when it comes to letting me enjoy myself, even in dreams. I was telling someone very recently about a dream I had about 'em that would have been a sexy dream, if my stupid brain could get over itself and let me get that far. Some complication always arises to keep any fun from being possible.

This morning the conspiratorial brain-hatred was even more opaque- I had a very long, very complex dream in which I was aware that the ultimate goal was to end up at a small gathering of folks I knew well (but didn't know exactly who, so no point in guessin) and was comfortable with, where I might get to see someone really special, and might even get to mess around with them, or more folks even! Getting to the gathering was alarmingly hard and filled with stupid hurdles and complications. Then when I finally got to the gathering, and sat next to the someone I was very excited to get to see (but I can't actually figure out who it was supposed to represent, sorry), I promptly felt a wave of extreme exhaustion overtake me, and right there in the middle of the party in the dream I proceeded to fall asleep, sitting up. At which point in the real world, I proceeded to totally wake up, at 5:45 like I always fucking do, needing to pee like fucking always, and of course, terribly pissed off and disappointed.

I know, since I watched the Friends episode where Chandler confesses that he has this problem, that this is not unique.. Is there some tricksy way that any of you out there have managed to turn this around? Why must my brain turn its back on free, self-generated pron?? That's just wasteful.

Comments

[saavedra77.livejournal.com]

You subconsciously fear that don't deserve nookies ...? You're breaking my heart, hippy!

There's seems to be only one way to confront such a phobia: You clearly need to confront this dream's scenario in reality! ;-)

I know where you're coming from

[number42.livejournal.com]

Before the gastric-bypass surgery, I'd try to have fantasies, but the strippers just wanted to talk to me and be friends. I feel better about myself now, so that's no longer the issue.

On the other hand, I don't remember the last time I had a sex dream...