Small Tribute
Mar. 12th, 2004 10:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hippybngstockngI got the sad news on Wednesday that my mom's best friend's brother had died of lung cancer. I didn't know him very well because I only saw him at Christmas so I'm totally okay, but I also realized that he taught me the one long joke I can ever remember enough of to tell people, so I thought I'd share it. I modernized it a little because one of the previous celebrities who made cameo appearances in the joke is now dead. It's not word for word of course, and it's a old joke I am sure, but I still feel it stands the test of time.
So here, without any further wasting of your time, or boring you with explanations- what I have always referred to as "the Bob joke"
A guy goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink.
He's there for about 15 minutes when another guy walks in and stands in a pose under the dripping air conditioner and yells out, "Hi everybody! My name is Bob, I know everybody and everyone knows me!"
The guy at the bar smirks and looks at Bob and says, "Oh yah? I'll bet you $100 don't know Bill Clinton!"
"You bet I do!" replies Bob.
The bartender pulls out the evening newspaper that shows that Bill Clinton is actually giving a talk at an area college so Bob and the guy hop into a taxi and go there.
The lecture is still in progress, but during his talk Bill Clinton notices Bob in the front row waiting with the guy, and he pauses and waves, adding, "Hey there Bob! What're you doing back in school? hehehe" and then shuffles his papers and returns to his speech.
The guy is pissed, but he gives Bob the money and they go their separate ways, or so the guy thinks.
Next week the guy goes into the same bar and the same thing happens.
WHOOSH goes the door, in comes Bob who stands under the dripping air conditioner and announces, "Hi everybody! My name is Bob, I know everybody and everyone knows me!"
"You are so fulla shit, Bob. I'd bet you $300 that you don't know Brittany Spears!"
"Brittany? We go WAAAAAY back! Sure, I know Brittany!"
The ever helpful bartender with his ever helpful newspaper emerges with a notice of a sold out concert, but adds, "I happen to know she likes to eat at this one restaurant before she leaves town."
Bob and the guy make their way to the restaurant and wait for her. Sure enough around two in the morning surrounded by her entourage Brittany stumbles into the restaurant looking very tired. She immediately spies Bob to the side and makes her way over and plops herself in his lap.
"Oh, Bobby, I am so tired, thank God you're here, I'm going to sleep, could you order me a burger?" She then puts her head on his shoulder and makes purring noises.
The guy can hardly believe his eyes, but he gives Bob his $300 and leaves quietly, but now he's pissed.
The following week when the guy goes into the bar he's ready.
Bob comes in, stands under the dripping air conditioner and yells out, "Hi everybody, My name is Bob, I know everybody and everyone knows me!"
The bartender stands laughing with his arms crossed watching as the guy yells out, "Okay, BOB, I have you now, YOU DO NOT KNOW THE POPE!"
The guy produces plane tickets, travel papers, hotel vouchers and some luggage and says "Let's go"
They show up sleepily in Rome just in time for Sunday Morning Mass on Vatican square. They are standing in a large crowd waiting for the Pope to come out on his little balcony, but he seems to be running late.
15 minutes go by, then 30. Finally after 45 minutes Bob says, "This isn't quite right, I am going to see if everything is okay..." and walks off.
After a few more minutes waiting, the Pope finally emerges onto his balcony, with Bob. The crowd roars and the guy faints dead away.
A little while later after things have ended and calmed down Bob makes his way back to the guy who is still surrounded by a small group of people fanning him and bringing him water and tending his bruised head.
"Why did you faint just because I knew the Pope! Don't you know by now that I am right?" asks Bob.
"No, it wasn't that, it was the guy next to me who asked, 'Who's that guy up there with Bob?'"
So here, without any further wasting of your time, or boring you with explanations- what I have always referred to as "the Bob joke"
A guy goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink.
He's there for about 15 minutes when another guy walks in and stands in a pose under the dripping air conditioner and yells out, "Hi everybody! My name is Bob, I know everybody and everyone knows me!"
The guy at the bar smirks and looks at Bob and says, "Oh yah? I'll bet you $100 don't know Bill Clinton!"
"You bet I do!" replies Bob.
The bartender pulls out the evening newspaper that shows that Bill Clinton is actually giving a talk at an area college so Bob and the guy hop into a taxi and go there.
The lecture is still in progress, but during his talk Bill Clinton notices Bob in the front row waiting with the guy, and he pauses and waves, adding, "Hey there Bob! What're you doing back in school? hehehe" and then shuffles his papers and returns to his speech.
The guy is pissed, but he gives Bob the money and they go their separate ways, or so the guy thinks.
Next week the guy goes into the same bar and the same thing happens.
WHOOSH goes the door, in comes Bob who stands under the dripping air conditioner and announces, "Hi everybody! My name is Bob, I know everybody and everyone knows me!"
"You are so fulla shit, Bob. I'd bet you $300 that you don't know Brittany Spears!"
"Brittany? We go WAAAAAY back! Sure, I know Brittany!"
The ever helpful bartender with his ever helpful newspaper emerges with a notice of a sold out concert, but adds, "I happen to know she likes to eat at this one restaurant before she leaves town."
Bob and the guy make their way to the restaurant and wait for her. Sure enough around two in the morning surrounded by her entourage Brittany stumbles into the restaurant looking very tired. She immediately spies Bob to the side and makes her way over and plops herself in his lap.
"Oh, Bobby, I am so tired, thank God you're here, I'm going to sleep, could you order me a burger?" She then puts her head on his shoulder and makes purring noises.
The guy can hardly believe his eyes, but he gives Bob his $300 and leaves quietly, but now he's pissed.
The following week when the guy goes into the bar he's ready.
Bob comes in, stands under the dripping air conditioner and yells out, "Hi everybody, My name is Bob, I know everybody and everyone knows me!"
The bartender stands laughing with his arms crossed watching as the guy yells out, "Okay, BOB, I have you now, YOU DO NOT KNOW THE POPE!"
The guy produces plane tickets, travel papers, hotel vouchers and some luggage and says "Let's go"
They show up sleepily in Rome just in time for Sunday Morning Mass on Vatican square. They are standing in a large crowd waiting for the Pope to come out on his little balcony, but he seems to be running late.
15 minutes go by, then 30. Finally after 45 minutes Bob says, "This isn't quite right, I am going to see if everything is okay..." and walks off.
After a few more minutes waiting, the Pope finally emerges onto his balcony, with Bob. The crowd roars and the guy faints dead away.
A little while later after things have ended and calmed down Bob makes his way back to the guy who is still surrounded by a small group of people fanning him and bringing him water and tending his bruised head.
"Why did you faint just because I knew the Pope! Don't you know by now that I am right?" asks Bob.
"No, it wasn't that, it was the guy next to me who asked, 'Who's that guy up there with Bob?'"
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-12 07:24 am (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-12 07:28 am (UTC)That joke is hilarious!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-12 08:24 am (UTC)I do wonder, however, where that bartender has been all these years.
slim pig rocks, do you watch nana lan' too?
Date: 2004-03-17 01:06 am (UTC)