Taking care of business...

So... Really very nearly finished with the part 3, but starting to think the build-up is going to leave you all so staggeringly disappointed you'll all run screaming from my friends in a huff. So just prepare NOW to be staggeringly disappointed.

See, I love reading other people's TMI stuff, but writing my own is another thing entirely. It might surprise you to know I get very self conscious about it, despite my ability to share just about anything else.

So yeah, I'm having a hard time posting it now because I fear the build-up. I don't write sex well, I imply it beautifully, but I should not write porn. So when it shows up, just deal. Next time will be better, I promise. And I've got the whole filter set up so yeah...

*sigh*

Now that I'm feeling terribly self conscious, I'll take a moment to change subjects violently and wish ronelyn a Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! I wish I could come up with a clever birthday wish, but I'm just out of 'em today. If I did have one, it would involve lots of anime and gaming though...

In the K department- I think we're going to need a Telletubby patch soon. For some weird reason, back about a couple months ago, K rediscovered the Telletubbies. At first I thought it was a good thing, he started giving people Big Hugs, and hugging us and saying "I WUV YOU" like they do- who doesn't like hugs and love, right? But then there was this one day when we were all sick that I put in my 6 hour tape of them, and somehow in my sick-haze we ended up watching THE WHOLE THING before I really noticed. I was there, I never left, I don't even think I fell asleep, we were just not all there mentally- between the coughing and the puking and everything, we were just lying around like a big sick heap.

Now, when he sees them, he tries to convince us he NEEDS to watch them. One show or a short advert for them isn't enough anymore... Once he's seen them, as soon as they are gone he begins to scream "NEED TELLETUBBY BACK! NEED TELLETUBBY BACK!!!" and can't be easily consoled. I've hidden our tape, plus the new one that came with the Po doll he got for Christmas. I think I am going to LEAVE them hidden forever because he's almost 4, he should be past this whole phase, and I feel like it's really a big developmental step BACK for him. I don't know how to feel though because he obviously loves them immensely, but almost like an addict loves crack... The look in his eyes is this wild, uncontrolled junkie look of "CRACK! I LOVE CRACK! I MUST HAVE CRACK! YOU HAVE CRACK IN YOUR HANDS! YOU MUST GIVE IT TO ME NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!" but of course the telletubbies, while being strange, are not crack so I feel kind of bad too... I also wonder if I am right about it being the wrong developmental stage. He does seem to get something from them sometimes, as they do address simple word differences that he has in fact been having trouble with, like big and small, up and down, and simple actions. I work on these things with him all the time, but when I do it, he gets offended. It must be because I'm not giant and purple with a hanger coming out of my head.

But he is getting better at learning from me. It depends largely on his mood though. He's been grumpy and frustrated. If he's receptive, it's amazing because he will repeat ANYTHING I say, or try to do the things I am showing him and he does really well, and he learns a lot, but in this time of frustration and grumpiness, these moments seem few and far between with all the other stuff... I know we are getting there though, and this pleases me. If I can just keep from putting him out into the snow the next time he won't stop whining... He just won't listen when he's whiny, even if Crash and I are standing there saying, "look, we'll give you ANYTHING you WANT right now if you will simply TELL US WHAT IT IS" he still won't stop long enough to listen and cough up. Like he is figuring that we actually just KNOW and are simply not giving him what he wants to torture him. There's simply too much of that right now, but we're weathering it as best we can. I wouldn't resent it so much if he was this way for everyone, but no, he saves this shit for Crash and I and is an angel for grandma and everyone else... I've been trying to set an alarmingly good example a lot of the time, and I feel my facade will shatter soon and I will crumble into a rage puddle of my own whining and frustration, but those moments of calm help prevent that. I keep telling myself he's probably just on the verge of a break-through, which he probably is.

And speaking of those things- suddenly I must be at the top of the day care waiting list, as I seem to get a call a day. I am starting to hesitate a little though because the places with the special autism worker all seem to want him there full time, and they all cost $200 more per month than the place he's been going to now which he seems to like a lot and be getting along in just fine- just a normal ol' day care with normal ol' kids. It returned me to wondering whether in our case a little non-treatment in this regard would be just as good as the with treatment option, since it saves us money, is more flexible as far as part time goes, and seems to be doing as much good as I think special day care would. I talked to one of the people I've been dealing with about this, and she seemed to think I was being reasonable, but suggested if I am concerned about it, that I could have the cheap day care evaluated by her folks. It was nice to have such a good response, since I was expecting more of a "how dare you consider not taking the best option" type of response. Started me wondering where I got that response... hehehe....

And that's going to be another post since I looked at the clock and realize our asses must get moving- Speech therapy at 1:30!